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20 Feb

Another genius idea:

“I went to a bar last night where clearly the theme was “Old-Timey” and everyone was really into it. “Ooh wow look at the old wood everywhere and the dirty looking glasses and the weird drinks you’ve never heard of!” Um yeah the wood is decayed, those glasses ARE dirty and you’ve never heard of the drinks because Assclown Stevens over there with the monocle made them up. But to capitalize on this obvious craze, I’m creating Throwback Thursdays at my apartment. On Throwback Thursdays, everything REALLY IS like the olden times. Women aren’t allowed to talk, stabbing is legal and the only fucking drink we serve is Moonshine. There’s some posts outside to tie up your horse (or servant), stables for the hookers upstairs, and if anyone so much as even bumps into me, everybody gets shot!!!!!!!!!!!!”

I think he’s gonna have to cut back on the threats to really bring in the customers but overall it sounds like a good bar. I’d go there.

He chopped the fuckin bartenders fingers off!


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