We get it all at once here:
“Hey bro. Have a BAD Friday! Get it? See what it did there? Do you FUCKING SEE???????? It’s Good Friday so I said the opposite! What is this Bizarro World?
Seriously though, I really hope you have a BAD Friday wink wink wink! These are the kind of jokes you should tell at parties tonight. They’re called “Buzzsaws” or “Roomstoppers” or “Jing Jongs.” People love a good Jing Jong every now and then. Indisputable.”
Why/How/Where does he think of stuff like this?
“One of the first things that happens in life is an old Jewish man comes up to you and cuts part of your penis off. That’s pretty fucking crazy when you think about it.”
Yeah, when you put it like that, it is pretty crazy.
“Leave it to the Asians to break it all down for us with Avatars.”
Here’s the YouTube link he sent:
When you’re the first person to finish an exam, I think that’s usually a bad sign. There were literally some questions where I laughed at my lack of knowledge on this last one. Looks like it won’t matter anyway:
“Dude some crazy fuck just told me it’s the RAPTURE this Saturday, so do not attend any more exams, and fuck as many women as possible between now and then. Also go to church and accept Jesus. STAT.”
I was considering not showing up to my last exam anyway.
In case you guys were worried:
“Just remembered that the world’s going to end next year. George Lucas and the Mayans agree! I’m thinking that you and I need to get some religion, and fast. We don’t have to really follow it, just pick one and attend some functions- ritual slaughters, circumcision parties, basement secret touch-games, etc. One of these fuckers is bound to be right. Maybe we could each choose a different religion and hedge our bets? I call being Jewish! Let’s give it some thought. Either way, like Bart Scott says: CAN’T WAIT!”
Here’s the now famous interview his last line refers to:
********UPDATE to this: Looks like people should be careful saying they “Can’t Wait!” for things… like the Steelers, or the Apocalypse.********