He has re-emerged from the depths of hell and sent this email to me and god knows how many other people as a manner of wishing us a Happy New Year I guess…
“Hello. You are receiving this email because I no longer have a phone. You see, I dropped it in Pauly Shore’s toilet at the beginning of what turned out to be a 36 hour ragefest at his Hollywood pad. Everyone who’s anyone was there. Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Carrot- Top, French Stewart, Shannen Doherty, all 11 of the Wayans Brothers, and Lisa Loeb– or as I now call her, “Professor Squirts-A-Lot.” Needless to say I had the best time ever, so good in fact that just a few hours ago I woke up inside of an empty whiskey barrel in Pauly’s garage. That motherfucker makes his own booze!
I can’t remember any of your phone numbers because it’s the Digital Age and we don’t have to remember anything anymore. I don’t even remember who the President is– some Indian fella, right? Jokes! Anyway, please send me your phone number again, and to all the girls on this list, please to re-send me that picture of your tits and/or No-No Area that I imagine you probably sent me at one point. Thanks in advance,
Pimperton J. Snardgrass IV”
So there you have it, folks. He’s totally fine and normal.