Back to his eavesdropping ways…
“Just heard a girl inadvertently explain our country’s divorce rate when she said, “Only single girls need to worry about what they eat!” Amen sister! Lonely Hearts Ice Cream Club starts in 30 minutes– hop on your Vespa I’ll save you a seat next to Marjorie. She’s bringing cake!!!!!!!”
He tends to just drift off into weirdsville sometimes.
I’m not sure if this would work:
“A lot of dudes want to put on some smooth music when they get a lady in the room, like some Lenny Kravitz or Billy Ocean, but I’m gonna suggest a different route. For me, the best sexual mood music is Speed Metal. Nothing says ‘Time to get pregnant” like blaring guitars and guttural death screams.”
Actually, I am sure. it wouldn’t.
Lady killers. Literally.
I do not have one of these, and thank God:
“Have you ever thought about wearing your High School class ring around town? I wear my Jostens classic with the Double Zero graduation date all the time to impress the ladies. The best thing about wearing a class ring around is that it lets people know what time it is. Time to get fucked. Strap yours on and watch the fun unfold!”
And Susan did go onto adventure. To a frat party.
Here’s some info for you:
“Don’t ever cut your dick off, no matter how angry you get at it. It’s not his fault mofo it’s not his mofo faaaaaaauuuuult!!!! All you dog ,all you.”
So there you have it folks. If something bad happens, it has nothing to do with your weiner. It’s “all you dog.” Good luck.