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On Being Cordial

3 May


“No one wants to know the answer to the question “How’s it going?” so don’t even bother asking. Can you imagine if people actually told the truth instead of saying “Good! You?” The whole fucking World would fall apart. There would be people crying everywhere, babies smoking cigarettes and gay people marrying their pets, JUST LIKE I ALWAYS PREDICTED!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s like when you’re in a job interview and the guy says “What’s your WORST trait?” as if anyone’s ever going to answer that honestly. “Oh, my worst trait is I’m a perfectionist!” Yeah right. My worst trait is that I’m going to literally fuck a bunch of your employees, beat off in the bathroom to old issues of Consumer Reports, and constantly undermine your leadership efforts with my clever quips and snarky comments. Am I hired? Fuck no! Back to the streets for me.” 

I’d like to imagine that he was simply asked “How’s it going?” by some nice co-worker of his and it sent him into a tailspin. 

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