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ESPN Made Him Cry Again

14 Jul

which should surprise no one…

“Well, fucking stupid-ass God damn ESPN made me cry again. Fucking Arthur Ashe Award. Gimme a break. Fucking wrongly imprisoned guy and his God damn awesome beautiful fucking piece of shit story. What the fuck. Okay, I’m better now. One thing to glean (look it up dude do you really not know what glean means? Jesus.) from all this is his quote from Cus D’Amato: “The hero and the coward feel the same thing.” Think about that the next time some hot chick makes you nervous. That feeling of unrest, of doubt and fucking flaw bullshit? It’s just that, fucking bullshit. Tell her how awesome you are. Tell her you’re a hero. I did that once when I broke my hand fighting– told every girl who would listen that I saved a baby in a fire. Retarded story that involved the baby literally bouncing down the steps and me remembering my baseball career and fielding her like a grounder. Completely, utterly, unbelievable. And you know what? 64% of them believed it. And 90% of that 64% had sex with me and my broken fake-hero hand. God Bless America!!!!!!!!” 

His sudden patriotism is the stuff of legends. New category of Heroism too! I will try to find a link to the story he’s talking about. 

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