He suffers from it a lot. Gets a lot of Dave Grohl, Ugly Prince William, not flattering… But this is different:
“Just had a super awkward moment outside a coffee shop. This insanely hot 40 year old walked up in all spandex with a bangin’ body, and went into the store next to the coffee shop. When she was coming out a few minutes later, this cool looking 13 year old kid was aimlessly standing there playing his GameWizard® and TOTALLY NOT NOTICING HER. So I tried to get his attention so he could have a month’s worth of jerk-material but he wouldn’t listen– classic teen! So I went and grabbed him, being like, “Dude check it out!” and pointing to the older chick with the ass. Anyway his parents thought I was trying to molest him and I almost had to fight the Dad. Classic mixup!”
Get off your GameWizard kid, there’s a World Wonder behind you!
Whether or not this story is true (it isn’t), he sent this video, so happy Columbus Day everyone:
“Columbus Day reminds us that there’s no such thing as being lost, so long as when you get anywhere you act like you meant it and then kill everyone. This is a song my friend wrote about Columbus Day right before he died of Feline AIDS. His brother made this video of pictures of him before his death from Feline AIDS to commemorate his prior Feline AIDS-free life. Please to enjoy.”
Here’s the video:
Long time coming…
“Once I was hitting on a girl in Chicago and used the word “sale-able” to describe something, and she spent the next ten minutes correcting me and insulting me, wondering how someone with such a great education could use such an obviously incorrect word. Well I hope that bitch was watching re-runs of Million Dollar Listing yesterday, because they used that word like FIVE TIMES! In your face you stupid idiot! In other word-related news, ever think about how very different the words URBAN and URBANE are? The E must be like the father who never comes back from getting cigarettes and fucks everything up. I wish Dad would’ve done that. Oh well, can’t win em all!”
The definition of urbane.
Well this has been interesting. He showed uo acting like a complete weirdo, claiming that the “black pilot was fresstyling over the loudspeaker the entire flight.” Then he pulled me aside and informed me that he ate a huge pot brownie before his flight so the freestyling story may not have been “100% accurate.” Now he’s eating cookies in the kitchen that someone gave us, and they are that weird Otis Spunkmeyer brand that he can’t stop laughing about. I just overheard the following:
“MMMMMM these Spunkmeyers are so good Mom. I would eat these in a barn! Do I have any Spunkmeyer on my face? I feel like I do. Dad? Get in here!”
In other news, I got a 2.0 so I’m still a citizen of college. Hooray.