And what follows makes perfect sense…
“Tonight I ate some mushrooms, watched the Presidential Debate and then went to a concert. What a night. Here are some things I realized:
1. One day I want to be one of those people they mention when they’re like, “I met a school teacher in Reno the other day, and she was dead. But I spoke to her via a medium and a Ouija Board. And she said we need more teachers.” I want to be that dead woman.
2. I want to make a blog called “When Hipsters Cry” that is simply pictures of hipsters crying. They’re all a bunch of bitches anyway so I bet we can do it. Did you know that people who are ACTUALLY COOL don’t want to live in Brooklyn anymore because they have dipshits on trust funds with rolled up jeans and projective personality disorders looking at them with scowls as they walk down the street? True story. My friend is a super cool Norwegian music video director, and he’s moving out because he’s tired of kids rolling their eyes at him while he makes cool shit happen and they have their parents beeping through on the other line trying to loan them money… AGAIN.
3. I’m going to start lifting weights again, get up to 205, grow my hair out JUST PRECISELY to the length where it requires berets (sp?) and then start wearing them in my hair, taking time to pin back my locks with my beautiful weightroom muscles while I block someone’s view at a clown college graduation or whatever it is I’m watching.
4. Did you know that if you’re on mushrooms at a concert and you go in the bathroom, the sound of people peeing and pooping will actually perfectly mimic the beat of whatever song is playing> Try it!
Oh that’s all? Thank God.