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“Think About It”

9 Mar

and then feel as grossed out as I do. Who sends stuff like this to people?

“Dude think about this chart. And PS WHO THE FUCK STOLE MY COLORED PENCILS?!?!?!” 

2% still seems really high. I gave him props for his good work with the highlighters.

“Drugs & Your Face”

11 Jan

Hoping I can turn in a chart like this when I return to school tomorrow…

“The length of time you can keep a massive drug and alcohol addiction a secret is DIRECTLY PROPORTIONAL to how good looking you are. Please see the attached chart as evidence.” 

Another reason to feel bad for FUGLY people. And who knew about Brad and Angelina???

A Dining Guide For Drunks

24 Sep

But more importantly… a new drawing! Where has he been with these? He sent this to me and like 30 other people this morning:

“Dudes. Judging by what just happened to me in the bathroom, I think I made some very bad decisions last night in terms of sustenance. To help us all out, I’ve created this handy guide of what NOT to eat when you’re drunk, because I think we’ve all been prone to making the same mistakes over and over again. So do yourself a favor and avoid these 8 tempting but dangerous late-night snacks, and have yourself a much better Sunday than you would otherwise. Foodie out!”

Do NOT reheat that Trash Lasagna guys.

 

“It’s 5 O’Clock Somewhere”

26 Aug

This has kind of always been his slogan, but now we all have a handy chart to follow it:

Like the kickass Alan Jackson and Jimmy Buffett song reminds us, it’s always 5 o’clock somewhere. It might only be 11AM here, but I know that those motherfuckers in Greenland are getting their drink on and eyeing that one sheep whose face somewhat resembles a woman, thinking about how after four more Klingklottons (Greenland’s official beer) they’ll probably be good and ready for some straight up beast-mode, and that makes me feel a lot better about the fact that me and one of the IT guys (Sundeep? I can never remember his name so I just call him Jim) just ripped a few shots behind the dumpsters out back. I’ve included this chart I made as a manner of “showing my work” like you used to have to do in math class.”

He didn’t just check the Internet? That seems retarded. Either way…

Pretty good job assuming its freehand.

 

 

He Made A Chart

22 Jun

To prove his point, I guess. Here you go!

“I hate to quote Charlie Sheen, but before all the bullshit he said this to a judge when he got caught with some hookers.” 

I love how they're called "Life Hours" as opposed to "Hours."

“The Meaning of Life”

8 Jun

I’m not sure I understand this, but that doesn’t mean it’s not funny…

“The way I see it dude, there’s slutty girls, and then there’s me. And somewhere in between lies the meaning of life.”

I think this is called a Venn Diagram

“Why Marriage Is Gay” : A Drawing

25 May

Look at this ludicrous claim:

“Hey dude- saw this in the New York Times today and found it interesting. I think that the communists who run that paper really have a point with this chart. Just another reason to stay away from relationships, am I right????!!!!!” 

Love the purple highlights on the dicks but... Why is he always drawing dicks?

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