“Say It, Don’t Spin It”

10 May

Because he needs you to slow down:

“What happened to being straightforward in our society? Is it texting? The Internet? No one can just say what they want to say anymore. It used to be that if you wanted to tell me about how you had a $5 pizza for sale, you’d strap a “$5 Pizza!” sign to a dog and cover the back with peanut butter so he wouldn’t complain. Now they have some grunge kid from my high school who apparently has a time machine and uses it to work shitty jobs in the future spinning a sign with such lightning-quick intensity that I just had a seizure in my car and crashed into an Asian lady’s QX4, the sheer irony of which made us all convulse with laughter (and me from the seizure, of course). Point is, if you have something to say, just fucking say it, don’t spin it.” 

According to your arrow, sir, “Adventure Time” is underground. Where might I find the door and/or stairs?


One Response to ““Say It, Don’t Spin It””

  1. penis May 10, 2012 at 5:48 pm #

    time machine…. convulsing
    fucking brilliant

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