We were emailing earlier and I mentioned to him how weird rush is when you’re in a fraternity because you basically have to go on dates with dudes and convince them how cool you and all your friends are. Here’s what he eventually wrote back:
“Yes. Dating dudes is scary. It’s awkward. It’s lame. It’s probably against the damn Bible for God’s sake! But you have to do it. The cooler the dudes are in the years below you, the hotter the chicks will be that you can steal from them next year. I used to occasionally rush super handsome dudes that were COMPLETELY INSUFFERABLE simply because I was 21 and wanted to poach the hot 19 year olds they would inevitably bring around once they were brothers.
But don’t take dudes out to dinner and TELL THEM how cool you are. Everyone does that. Instead, take them to a strip club and SHOW THEM how cool you are by tipping all the strippers with 100 fake $5 bills you spent one hour printing and SEVEN DAYS perfecting using a combination of elbow grease, hiking boots, a dryer and a cookie roller to create the PERFECT TEXTURE– just like real money, am I right Destiny!?!??! That will teach your potential future brothers a few important things:
1. You love tits and pussy and you don’t care how many times a girl had to get smacked and/or ignored by her Dad growing up to show them to you.
2. You don’t give a fuck about rules or laws or morals or common decency.
3. YOU’RE A RESOURCEFUL, HARD WORKER. When you set your mind to something, like for instance tricking a group of undereducated whores into thinking you’re Baller McMurtry, the new fancy guy from out of town who specializes in $5 bill tossing, you FUCKING ACCOMPLISH IT.
Now get some handsome fuckers in your frat so I can visit you when you’re a senior and I’m a sad, single 30 something with serious emotional issues, a pocketful of Ecstasy, and a penchant for fistfighting. Thanks!”
This is probably his best advice in quite a while.

Don't get too excited girl. Its way less than you think.
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